ugh...

I rarely do a negative post but I feel that is how this one is going to be.. Its ok if you skip reading this one but I think writing it will be good for me! 

I am super confused about life right now and what I am supposed to be doing. 

I have had some very clear answers to some big life decisions and all those things have completely fallen through.. It seems all the things in my life that I felt good about the past month have crumbled and now I feel alone and lost... 

Everyone keeps telling me to be positive and that everything will work out.. 

I really am trying but its starting to get hard.. 

I know that my trails right now are small when compared to many others but to be I am feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated.. 

I think I am generally a more positive person so I hate this right now.. I hate looking forward to good things right no because everything I do look forward to falls through.. I feel as though I have been on a huge losing streak for a while..

Kelly broke up with me... 

People who I thought were friends are not...

Housing keeps falling though..

I've been lied too

Talked about...

I feel betrayed by a few people..

and I could go on but that's not fun to read..

I do know that things will turn out and I'll be ok but life is hard right now... I just need a small answer to something. Just one thing to work out... 

Sorry that this was a negative post... I could go into detail about everything but I am done with crying for today! 

I promise the next post will be more positive!!

These past few weeks I have been thinking a lot about a few things.. I few weeks ago I went to the temple to do a session. However the session was too full so they split us into two groups. I decided to go do initiatorys. While I was there I was listening and one thing really stuck out to me. I really liked how we shouldn't speak guile.

I really don't consider myself a mean person, but tend to get annoyed and complain about things people do that really are not a big deal.

For me its pretty easy not to sit and talk about the negative aspects of a person.

But I still do complain about things.. a roommate who has left dishes in a sink.. a friend who has been grumpy... maybe someone didn't invite me to something..

plans fell through... anyways you get the picture...

So the past few weeks I have tried not to speak guile..

The past few weeks people have annoyed me way more than usual!

I was far from perfect on this but it is something I will keep working on!

I love dating someone who truly inspires me to be better..

Kelly is one of the nicest people I know, he always has good things to say about everyone and rarely ever says anything negative!

Here is to a new week and trying to keep those mean things I want to say in!

Hopefully by not saying anything rude will make it so I don't think mean things either!!